Screetching Hault

I debated with myself over whether or not I would post this in the blog until it is for sure. Part of me didn't want to post it, because I don't want to be a downer. But the fact is, fertility treatments are a series of one downer after another. We have been through 6 years of failures, disappointments, heartbreak, sadness, and anger, and there are no promises that it will end any time soon, really. So I decided to include this story in the blog, for a couple reasons. One being that I think it's important to tell our whole story, ups and downs. And secondly, I would love to look back at this one day and smile, seeing what we have been through, and what we learned from it.

I got the mail yesterday and found 2 things from our fertility clinic. The first, I was so excited to see! It was the official consent forms to make our embies our's! These will need to be notarized, thus making it all legal and done! I actually said out loud in my car when I opened it, "Wow...this is really happening!" It still feels surreal.

Then I opened the other envelope. A bill. Apparently in our meeting with multiple people to set up this embryo adoption, we never got the message that they expected payment in full for the proceedure BEFORE the cycle. When we had discussed the other treatments that they wanted to try (before deciding that they would most likely not work) they had told us that for proceedures that we have to pay for out of pocket (our insurance does not cover fertility treatments) we could go on an in-house 3 month payment plan. Our plan all along was to use our medical flex spending account to pay for a majority of the FET, and pay out of pocket for the rest, in 3 months. It was going to be a stretch, but do-able.

However, when we recieved the bill yesterday, things started going down hill. The total bill due today is $4,500. This includes all the tests, embryo preparation, and transfer. It does not include the meds that I will be on for the month, which is impossible to calculate until that time, becasue they change dosages and medications depending on my hormone levels and uterine lining throughout the month. We are guessing the meds will be between $500-$1,000.

I left a message for the financial department to make sure we can still split up the payments between 3 months, and still felt confident. Then we looked at our flex spending account. I had a broken foot, along with other expensive tests this year, which caused that account to go down faster than we thouht. We can only put $1,500 of it on that account, leaving $3,000 out of pocket today, then meds out of pocket soon. We do not have $3,000 in our pockets today. We also do not have credit cards, or a means to get $3,000 in our pocket today. Even if we could still break up the money into 3 months, we can't really afford to be out $1,000 per month for the next 3 months, plus meds!

To top this off, I got the call back from my message yesterday, telling me that, no, for IVF procedures they do not do a 3 month plan. She said "I'll see you later today to pay that off, and sign consents! Hope you're having a great day!"....

We may have to postpone this proceedure until the end of the year, now, so we can save the money before hand. The problem with that is that we have to do it before December 31, because the money on our flex card does not roll over. We simply loose it if we don't use it. But, that also means that we'd have to pay the $3,000 by November 15, and re-do all the tests that I've been having done, because they have to be done right before the FET. Doing it in December also makes me due in the fall, not in the summer when I am off work anyway (which is what would happen if we do it in august as planned).

PLUS, we have to let the flex card people know how much to save on there in November during Chad's open enrollment. SO, if we do all this saving and waiting, do the transfer in December, and it doesn't work...we are then left with no money on the flex card, and have to wait to save up the whole $5,000 again! Whereas if we do the transfer in August and it doesn't work, we can put the money on the flex account to do it early next year again!

The timing being completely wrong in December has me thinking it won't work in the first place. So you can see by my incredibly long post (sorry about that) that one speed bump turns into a mountain very quickly, and I don't know if we can climb it.

At this point we have so many people praying for a miracle. That is our last hope. I guess I will let you know by the end of the day what happens.

Thanks for all the prayers. They are needed right now. First for a miracle, and if that doesn't come through, for peace and patience on our part.